Spica Queen

Spica Queen is what I call my daughter since she's been in her spica cast. We are going on a little over 3 weeks since she's been in her cast. We have 16 more days to go before the cast finally comes off. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm ready for the next phase of her treatment, which is the brace.

She will be in the brace until she's 18 months, which feels like forever to me. I keep telling myself that at least she will have a lot more movement in the brace than in this cast she's in now. I am looking forward to that at least. She can also take a bath again, which I am also glad about. She loves the bath, and has missed that a lot. She hates sponge baths and cries during those. It's just miserable for her, and for me seeing her so upset.

I am hoping the brace will give us some sense of normalcy back. There's so many things I miss about her besides bathtime. I miss her crawling and cruising everywhere. I miss the way playtime used to be when she was actively crawling, etc. What I miss the most is being able to hold her close and snuggle because now all I feel is that hard cast. She misses snuggling to me and tries to anyway, but she really can't the way she wants too. I also miss her standing up in her crib when she woke up in the mornings and reaching for me. I miss this terribly, and can't wait for the day she can do it again, and I can hold her close too. I guess there's nothing normal about your baby being in a body cast, or at least not much anyway.

I guess normalcy is over-rated in my house these days. Things like a simple diaper change with one diaper is not normal here anymore, although I'm ready for it be normal in this house again. All these different size diapers are overwhelming, not to mention my 11 month old wearing a pad at night. I know it's for extra protection through the night, but it still feels weird. Feeding her has definately changed since we can no longer use her high chair. She can't fit in it with her cast, and I don't think she'll be able to fit with her brace either. I was feeding her in her beanbag until a man that works with my mother made her a special table. Now she gets to sit at her table and eat... not to mention play now. That table has been a life saver in this house.

Everything has changed with her, so any normalcy the brace will bring back will be welcomed. There's not a day that goes by that I don't hate seeing her in that cast. There have been days I've wanted to cut it off her myself. It's been very hard to deal with at times, but I'm making it through one day at a time.

The support that I have received from family and from friends (online and off) has been amazing. I can never express how much I appreciate all the moral support, prayers, the gifts of diapers, shirts, stuffed animals, and the friend that made the special table for her. You all have changed the quality of life for my daughter, and you've made this process much easier for me and for Matt.